tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53795582011-10-24T19:14:10.757-05:00What's the Point of Blood when you always feel Dead?Rants, Raves & Poetry beyond lymrics and rhymes.Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.comBlogger291100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-1097810085095107662004-10-14T22:14:00.000-05:002004-10-14T22:14:45.096-05:00I miss my son terribly. I alone feel this hatred for the man whom I let him go for. I cannot always hide my disgust.
Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-1089580066575722722004-07-11T16:07:00.000-05:002004-07-11T16:07:46.576-05:00There are times when I think I am totally alone and I have to stop and think about everyone. Everyone that has come and everyone that has gone. Anyone I might meet and anyone whom I’ve left behind me. I’m never really alone no matter what I think but sometimes I think I should be. I wish I was like everyone else. I wish I could understand things like they all seem to. I don’t know about GodStefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-1088950846616235292004-07-04T09:19:00.000-05:002004-07-04T09:20:46.616-05:00It was like an odd and wonderful dream long since taken away and hidden in a corner. No one is supposed to look at it, make any sense of it or bother trying with it anymore. It didn’t work out and was set aside for bigger things, seemingly forgotten but still lingering right on the edge of her reality. Dark clouds or just hidden, shameful love? Uncertain, hurt, pained and wronged within such Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-108310179261901322004-04-27T16:36:00.000-05:002004-04-27T16:40:40.543-05:00Oh I'm sorry did I offend you? Did I make you think of something naughty? Did I bring a dash of messed up reality and smack it in your lil fucking face? Aww poor thing, let's just take these bad things and make them go away. Fuck you and fuck your parent's for letting you live. Didn't they ever hear of abortions? Oh no did I offend you? Are you hurt or crying? Maybe I should stop to thinkStefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-1083101425799097392004-04-27T16:30:00.000-05:002004-04-27T16:34:33.780-05:00So fucking sick of humons. They turn one way or another so easily it makes one sick to the stomach. Innards removed by mechanical asses waiting to see if you’ll still jerk when poked. Thinking is reserved only for the intelligent but then they turn out to be just as dumb as the rest of us. All of us stuck in noe hole waiting to see what the fuck comes of it all. Cut my chest open, let it Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-1080090154304870012004-03-23T19:02:00.000-06:002004-03-23T19:05:56.436-06:00Petty little arguments constantly smacked in the face of a dead person won’t make them budge. Scream your head off at them, see how they don’t come back to say much? They’ve heard it all they know it all they dun care when it comes to the eye’s of a blind city within a smaller spot that no one else can understand. Everyone seems so ok with the things they see but no one knows the things they Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-1073438060092188992004-01-06T19:14:00.000-06:002004-01-06T19:16:00.356-06:00I don’t really know what to write about. I keep getting hurt and I’m not sure why. People are just starting to hate me but I deserve everything I think. I’m a useless human being without the basic needs of others. I don’t want love anymore. I was told today that it is useless having feelings and a part of me believes that. But I’m not inhuman, I’m not able to turn everything off like a Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-1068471752357917522003-11-10T07:42:00.000-06:002003-11-10T07:42:55.763-06:00I'm sitting at work and i might as well be alone. I can't really talk to anyone about me might being pregnant or they seem to get too sad or annoyed. I'm a slut. I'll be the first to admit it but I don't deserve anything like I am getting. I am being ignored, but I am used to it. I have no one to talk to about it and I have fucking feeling's. My work was shit tonight and I wish i would have Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-1068201346050498522003-11-07T04:35:00.000-06:002003-11-07T04:37:30.966-06:00I haven't written anything in here in so long. But tonight I am alone at work and utterly depressed. My nearly 6 year relationship is dead now. My heart is torn wide open and I don't think anyone cares though I should know by now they do. Everything I seem to do or say to that person is useless. He says he cares but never shows it in anything other then a physical term. I can't go on like Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-1066133169729305922003-10-14T07:06:00.000-05:002003-10-14T07:06:55.490-05:00Show you the way to Divine.
She sits and stares at the floor, the ground melts away with a sigh of decay from the dead girl’s lips. She reaches a withered, decaying hand to the ground trying to mend it and ends up falling right into it. Eyes blinking fast as light tries to adjust on her white pupil’s. Small talent in her finger’s, crawling up the dirty hole to try and find some way of Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-1062711567200011962003-09-04T16:39:00.000-05:002003-09-04T16:39:27.086-05:00Dusted Powder.
Inside the egg laid nothing but dust. She stared at the ruined life with a small whimper and tossed it to the side, digging through the nest slowly for other eggs which may still have something. Behind her something rattled but she knew even if the mother was there to never turn around. Never face these awful creatures for fear of turning to stone from fright alone. A musty Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-1062700940126070482003-09-04T13:42:00.000-05:002003-09-04T13:42:20.130-05:00Everyone at my house can just eat me.Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-1061807846307470032003-08-25T05:37:00.000-05:002003-08-25T05:37:48.980-05:00God let me have my day!
It has happened again. Everything is messing up in my head. I feel clouds covering my thought’s and nothing is clear, again. My body is showing it’s immunity problem now like it always has. But my brain seems to have followed. Everything has gone from ok to bad in one sitting. I made a mistake I think I did but I’m not sure. I’m not sure of what to think or what toStefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-1061639010007625912003-08-23T06:43:00.000-05:002003-08-23T06:43:29.893-05:00Morphing pain and twisted roots; you're only what you make of yourself, right?
Green moss grows upwards on the thigh as she stares without raising a hand to stop it. Deep sigh of heavy relief lifted off her as the moss and mold eats her flesh off. Her muscle showing through the blood soaked vegetation eating her away. She leans against the tree, taking in a deep breath and releasing what Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-1061004829327783202003-08-15T22:33:00.000-05:002003-08-15T22:33:49.006-05:00It Has To Be.
Jittery feeling inside she can’t turn her eyes. He’s there, finally right in front of her to touch. Reaching forward, so slowly with the lights so soft around them. Fingertips lightly touch the man in front of her, she tugs lightly on his shirt and he turns. His deep, brown eyes soft in hue and smiling as big as his little, pink lips. Smiling more now, she pulls his arm, Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-1057838230844258892003-07-10T06:57:00.000-05:002003-07-10T06:57:10.616-05:00short post I just thought of...I hope they play "Anything Goes" by Fank at my funreral. No I'm not dying, I'm just a lil morbid :pStefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-1057836224079122432003-07-10T06:23:00.000-05:002003-07-10T06:58:39.286-05:00Just a word for the hell of it. I love my blog right now, I finally wrote something I am happy about and I'm listening to the BEST Sinatra song eva! -Stay little Valentine- *Swoooooooon* this is the way a man was supposed to sing. ^>.>^ Well Rammstein is ALWAYS an obsolute thrill for me. God I haven't written on this damn thing in so long. I almost for got about this lol. I was looking at Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-1057834535588238482003-07-10T05:55:00.000-05:002003-07-10T05:57:04.446-05:00Demented Fairy Tales, are still Fairy Tales...
Chains dangle slightly, a cold chill swirls past the smallest slave while her cage freezes in the open. Small sniffles are stifled as a man walks past. Chin up as always, the smallest slave sits with an expressionless face, only wanting to be stuffed into something else, at least in a warmer environment. She is looked at with little regard as theStefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-958533372003-06-20T00:48:00.000-05:002003-06-20T00:48:42.546-05:00ðÐecay and the Humanð
Luke warm inside of cherry swirls. Nothing in the void but the heart beat of a single man. Nothing to be told, or is this how it ends? Coffee swirls inside of wings. Blue velvet made entirely of satin thoughts drifting inside of empty wood. Down a river of blood and hate. There’s nothing in the babe’s mind but pure loathing. Eating away the flesh of the undead, the Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-950283092003-05-29T03:35:00.000-05:002003-05-29T03:35:24.590-05:00Just a lil update - About that guy....SinX?? ASSHOLE, you need to get a fucking life asswhipe.Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-949437232003-05-27T10:34:00.000-05:002003-05-27T10:34:06.810-05:00It's 10 am again. Fucking ten in the morning and I am starring at my (once again) Newly modified computer. Such pretty new cursors, window blinds, AIM expression & mutation. Gir started talking to me today, got AIM just for me. ^,^ Love that guy to death. SinX has come back...dunno what to think of that cause I dunno him all that well anymore. Gir suggested I DL some His Infernal Master. IStefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-946183242003-05-20T00:09:00.000-05:002003-05-27T06:04:00.000-05:00 Dancing Jade
She's taking a form. She's walking closer, I can smell candy and perfume mixed with some sweet grass and possibly vanilla. Dark Jade is starring at me again. Silky touches lightly drawn atop loose goose bumps of flesh. Pricked lightly, her skin will bleed for me again. Frustration Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-944446302003-05-16T07:13:00.000-05:002003-05-16T07:23:41.000-05:00Sick Sick Sick. I am too fucking sick. It's 6:20am, woke up about 5 and still can't sleep. I am very tired and my throat is a bitch to me at the present moment but I think I can manage. I threw up food I had no idea I had eaten, unless I am eating styrofoam in my sleep or something. Wolf is faaaaaast asleep in bed. Lucky asswhipe. I can hear him snorring now. My trash can is full but Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-944039942003-05-15T13:39:00.000-05:002003-05-15T13:39:52.700-05:00Crawling up a hill, kat stops and stares down, the cliff welcomes her she smiles though the height is still terrifying. Let go, bubbeling inside while it comes up. Mouth ajar, eyes slit open, palm's cut right off, no feet no tongue, ears ripped from the sides of the half dead kat's head. Tail nailed to a board. Nose pinned together, stomach hanging out with puss, foam and the stagnant stench Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-944028902003-05-15T13:17:00.000-05:002003-05-16T06:57:45.000-05:00Sometimes when I sit back, thinking about all the things that eat me away all the time it doesn't make any sense to me. I want to get out, get rid of the old and envelop myself in a black blanket of nothingness. I feel like I can't go on, I want to stop and scream and let everything out but because of my situation, I can't do anything. I feel like writing a poem but nothing is coming to mind.Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-943764572003-05-15T02:07:00.000-05:002003-05-15T02:14:08.000-05:00GAR!!!! Not a poem or anything, just kind of venting. If I had friends I would be talking to them right now but I dun feel like talking to the one I know right now. Sex, sex, sex, sex is everywhere. I am aware of it but not comfortable enough with it right now or myself to really let things go. I hate my body and I hate how I am. I hate how I feel and I hate how I look. Hate they way you Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-943389252003-05-14T12:39:00.000-05:002003-05-14T12:39:33.733-05:00"I have a ticket for you" - The first thing he says while you're getting off the steps. You've taken the ride before, you know where everything goes and how to get there, but you take the ticket, you smile politely and go anyways. The train ride is a nice one while the sun is actually up. There is nothing to be said while on the train while nothing is told to you from no one sitting next to Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-943383422003-05-14T12:25:00.000-05:002003-05-14T12:30:29.000-05:00Tapping feet, singing praise and songs of joy from above the angel's are laughing with me today. Soft wind glides effortlessly down small streams of nothing left behind time's grand step. Soft white light of hope and faith spray down amongst the small people of the world, hands raised together, finally in unison and all hate forgotten just for a moment. Smiles spreading, laughter reigning downStefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379558.post-942140992003-05-12T12:34:00.000-05:002003-05-12T12:36:01.000-05:00Dancing Raven Turned Fool (Mocking Bird)
She used to dance among flowers she herself grew, alone atop her hill of dreams, wishes and fantasies. Now she dances for the passers by, she blows a fake, meaningless kiss to anything with a cock to make it pay attention to her, her body large and swollen from the absorbency of her personality. She must become all she touches, her own soul left behind Stefinyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01827381245408727332noreply@blogger.com0